For years, with the personality that I have, I have been called friend by many, the life of the party, the laughing lady, and probably some other titles I am glad I don’t know about. In other words, I have always been “surrounded” by people and I loved having a good time in the Lord. I am at a point in my life, I am no longer “surrounded”. At first, this was hard on me. You don’t go fifty years one way and then, suddenly, life takes an about turn without having to deal with it and make some adjustments.
I look back and I see how God planned it to be this way, to bring me to a place that my sole dependence was on Him. My confidante (other than my husband and mother) is Him. My dearest and best friend and the one I run to first IS HIM! Now I no longer “run to the phone, but I run to the throne”.
When I was first starting to cut my “spiritual” teeth, I cut them on Joyce Meyer‘s teachings, as well as, Reverend Hagin and Ken Copeland. I could not get enough of Joyce Meyer! My day did not even begin until I listened to her! I would have one of her tapes playing in my office at all times! I went through some really horrible years with my health and her teaching kept me from having a nervous breakdown, literally! What is funny is, I don’t listen to her anymore. Oh, she is a wonderful minister and I highly recommend her, but for some reason I have gone on to other ministers that God has led me to. Even though I don’t start my day with her, many of the things she said the Holy Spirit still brings up in my mind to this very day.
I remember one particular series when she talked about how a group of ladies would go out to eat or go shopping and God would not allow her to go. While they were out shopping, eating, laughing, and having a good time (and there is not one thing wrong with this!) she would be home with her face to the floor, praying, and crying literal puddles of tears into her carpet! What was happening? Joyce was being prepared for a work!
I remember one day she taught on a dream she had. She was in a line of traffic in the dream. There was construction ahead and it had the cars basically stalled for what seemed miles. There were cars at the front of the line and they would be going past this temporary standstill first and soon. Instead of waiting, they turned around and went back to where they came from. Car after car did this. God told Joyce, “Many will turn around just before they reach the destination I have for them. You will not! You will be so determined, no matter what the hardship is, you will go through and you will have all I have destined for you!”
Sometimes we get into uncomfortable places and our flesh wants to say, “Oh, well. I would rather have the now than wait on the then!” We have to be determined we are going to see the call of God through, no matter what! Determination is a character trait that is developed. Some do seem to be born a little more determined than others, but they have the choice to take the easy road than “the road less travelled” as Robert Frost wrote, too!
I was at that crossroads not so long ago. I literally looked at myself and said, “Okay, girlfriend! What is it going to be?” I weighed the options! Yes, you heard me right, I literally considered both roads! I looked at the consequences of one choice and the hardships of the other! There is no way I could EVER be happy only serving God halfway! There is no way I could be happy without God first! My parents taught me that, but I fell in love with God all on my own! I have been told many things in life. Some of the things I was told I have accepted and others I have rejected. I don’t love Jesus because I was told that was the “right” thing to do. I love Jesus because I DO!! I fell in love with Him and gave Him my very life at the age of four and I have never NOT loved Him since. He has been my passion, my dream, my reason for living, the one I cannot know enough about, and the one I cannot stop thinking about and how I can serve even more! He is my Lord, my Saviour, my King! I owe my very soul and life to Him!
Certain people are born with certain gifts. It molds their personality. Some people are tell it like it is in God. Some sit back quietly and never say a word until there is a time when they feel the environment is conducive to their calling and anointing and the words God has given them to share will be taken at optimal understanding. Neither of these people are wrong and you have done a grave injustice to someone for judging them to be wrong simply because they are not like you!! Be careful, precious reader! God said He would contend with those who contend with His child! Don’t find yourself on the wrong end of that stick!
In what I have been called to, there is a great deal of “alone” time. When you are no longer on the “social scene” you are forgotten or people assume you are busy and cannot be bothered. It isn’t anyone’s fault because it is true! Just as a minister cannot leave his pulpit in the middle of a message, neither can others who are called to do something in particular and they are flowing in the anointing. You must stay with the flow of the anointing. If you don’t, you have taken yourself out of that “river”! If you do, it isn’t you that gets that river stirred up and flowing again, but God! To leave the anointing while it is flowing is to literally quench the Holy Spirit! That is not an option for anyone! We are warned NEVER to quench Him! There are consequences for that I am NOT willing to pay! I have had to get used to not being surrounded by people, but I am so glad I have been surrounded by the Holy Spirit! He has always been there, He just had to get me to a place I realized just how much and how long He has waited for me!
Maybe you are entering a new season of ministry. Maybe you have weighed the consequences against the hardships. Maybe you have sensed the “new thing” comes with unexpected things! Take heart, dear reader! God pays back with interest! God notices when you mean business and it really is all about Him! He notices when you give yourself to Him and truly never consider yourself in the process! We don’t do it to get “blessed”. We are already blessed!! But, God said a worker is worthy of his hire. God is not stingy, tight-fisted, nor does He take advantage of you, or take you for granted! What has happened is, your love for God has “leveled up” and with this new level comes new things, wonderful and not so easy on you at times. That is okay! God is worth it! Knowing He loved us beyond all cost is worth it!
He will equip and bless you as you go. It is up to us to go! We will never regret what we had to put down, because what we picked up was far, far greater! Blessings to you, precious heart! I will see you soon! Juliana