Lord, are you listening? I wake up, and then I live my day in a rush; by the time I go to bed, I honestly don’t know who I am, or what the point is. Sometimes when I talk to you, I feel like I’m talking to myself, but I try imagining you are actually listening to me anyway. How come I don’t always hear your voice? If you’re always with me, then why do I feel so alone and hopeless? Am I a lost cause, Father? Should I just call it quits and give up?
And then the letter came; the letter that I opened without paying attention to the fact that it was sent to me by accident. The address was the same as mine, but in a different state. I do believe, though, that somehow it was meant for me after all.
Dear friend (because I feel that you must think I am your enemy!),
I have missed you. I keep writing letters to you, but I haven’t heard anything back. I’ve tried calling, but your number has been disconnected. I’m not sure if you even know how hard I’m trying to get a hold of you. Could you take a moment out of your busy day to drop me a note or give me a call and let me know? It’s so frustrating when you’re desperately trying to get a hold of someone so special and dear to your heart, but you just can’t get through to them. Look, I love you very much and think about you all of the time, but I don’t want to be pushy or keep bugging you if I’m no longer wanted in your life. Just know, my friend, that whenever you really decide that you want me, I’m here for you. I’m thinking of you, and missing you more than you can possibly know, even if you have forgotten all about me. You might have somehow misunderstood my intentions last time we talked; quite honestly, I think you were so busy talking that you couldn’t hear what I was saying. Can we give it another try, and this time, tune in and listen with your heart so that you don’t misjudge me, okay? Peace? I love you, and I hope to hear from you soon.
All of my love forever,
Your Best Friend Since Childhood…and don’t ever forget it!
Lord, I want to say that I get it. You are speaking to me, but I’m disconnected…not listening. I’m too busy talking and complaining and worrying about life’s obstacles that are being thrown my way. You must be pretty frustrated because you love me so much, and here I’m always thinking you really don’t care, and that you don’t listen, when in fact, you do. You won’t force yourself on me, but you want to let me know that no matter what I do, even when I completely forget about you, you are here for me.
Father, I’ve grossly misunderstood because I thought I was listening, or maybe I expected to hear an audible voice break the silence; I don’t know. You’ve been with me since childhood? Oh Lord, I should be the one asking you if we can give it another try; but you’re so loving and compassionate, you are happy to receive me just the same! I left, believing I could do it on my own. Here I am, Lord; and this time, I’m prepared to tune in and listen, and I am ready to give up and let you do it for me. In fact, every time I asked you if I should just give up, you were saying, “Yes! Surrender yourself to me!”
My dear Father, I have been a dishonorable child, and have insulted your integrity. With a humble and convicted heart, I am coming home!
©2012, by Lyn Leahz
New King James Version (NKJV)
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring[a] out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
25 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’
28 “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. 30 But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’”
Dear Lord, I know that you hear me when I pray and that you love me and provide for me. I have been very saddened this past week because my dear feline friend became very ill suddenly and needed to have surgery for a blocked urinary tract. The surgery did not work out because of scar tissue buildup from past surgeries and I had to give the answer to the Vet to euthanize him. I cared for my sweet Flanagan so much, made sure he felt loved, fed, and had a nice cuddly place to sleep. I read scriptures with him some days beside me on the sofa and felt he was listening. Funny this, but it warmed my heart that he loved to hear my voice especially when I prayed and his ears would flick in a certain way when he heard me say “and bless my little feline friend ‘Flanagan’ and keep him well.
When he fell ill last Sunday in the middle of the night. I felt so helpless, no one to call, no doctor available. I prayed for him, cuddled him, and felt so scared that I was losing him.
Lord, you created pets for our enjoyment and pleasure but I don’t understand why he was taken from me when he gave me so much peace. Today, I realize that maybe I was depending upon Flanagan’s sweetness to comfort me instead of you, Father God. I am still not sure if this is the reason he was taken from me so soon but my heart still aches. I am praying that you, God, will give me the comfort that I need today and the days ahead.
I lost a pet when I was a teenager that was very special to me..he was like a human..I loved him. I know what u are going through. The only words of comfort I can give you, other than the obvious things people say, would be that the rapture is going to take place soon. Your pet would have suffered had the rapture happened and he were still alive. He would have possibly starved to death, or God knows what. At least he is at rest. God bless you and I am sorry for your loss dear sister. God bless you.
Great post, Lyn! 🙂
Thanks for sharing this Lyn. I relate to so much of what you’ve written. God bless you and yours.